Flange: A Gargoyle Looks at Xmas (Part 2)

(written by human John’s co-blogger gargoyle Flj,
but please to call me Flange, how pronounced anyway)
(edited by John for clarity and, um, readability)

You already read Part 1 of this series, yes? If not, it here.

There you learned things about gargoylish Xmas decorations and such.

(Ed. note: Asides in a couple of subsequent posts added some additional factoids.*)

But that post did not explain true heart of gargoylish Xmas, just like human variety: matters of spirit.

Surprised you may be, gargoyles, hideous beasts you probably think of us, even have souls (other than spirits, evil we consume). Let alone that think about and even celebrate spiritual matters. Humans only creatures with souls, no? with theology?

But yes, is true: gargoyles spiritual too.

About Xmas, the souls of gargoyles (much cleverer than human souls) know these things:

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Flange: A Gargoyle Looks at Xmas (Part 1)

Flanges (distant) cousin celebrate (click for original)After much debate, my co-blogger (Flange the gargoyle — “Flj” if you’re a purist of gargoylespeak) and I have finally resolved how to handle the mechanics of posting here.

In this entry, at least, I will simply tell you what he’s told me, translated to English; every now and then I’ll interject a comment from him, to help preserve the, er, voice of the original.

(By the way, that is not Flange himself in the photo, of course. It’s a distant cousin of his, one on a monastery somewhere in what we call, generically, Western Europe. (Flange called it what I believe could be translated as “home.”) I wouldn’t take the word “cousin” too literally; as I understand it, all gargoyle blood relations outside the direct like of descent are described as cousins.)

So, let’s begin with the obvious: Yes, Xmas. Gargoyles see nothing offensive in that X. They’ve always called the holiday Xmas — for far longer than the mere 2,000 years we humans have called it something else.

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Flange: The Gargoyle’s Back Story

Flange, contemplating topics for first post[I introduced you to my new co-blogger, a gargoyle named (well, his name is pronounced this way) Flange, just the other day. In this, his inaugural post, Flange wanted to give you some idea how he got where he is, i.e., as a professional gargoyle. When and if needed, I’ll interject brief commentary and/or supply footnotes.]

Was born, me, a small granite child. Parents, mine, were three, very common among people, my: mother, father, bother. Please, not to insert “r” that word, in. “Bother,” just.

Humans not know, no they not, about habits, mating of people Flj, such as. Flj explain. Try to:

Mother, father, you know, same with you. Join together, sacred mating ritual But “bother” how pronounced, third parent type—

John, iconicJohn: Flange, Flange, Flange — for crissake, this is painful to watch! Aside from which, you’re beating the hell out of my keyboard. Why don’t we do this — why don’t you just tell me what you want to say and I’ll key it in for you? Maybe translate a little as I go along—

Flange, iconicFlange: That kay with Flj. Not change meaning, you, no? Flj’s voice, unique, preserve, you, right? Flj have pride, authorial, too! Kay. Your way, have it. The human, you are. “Boss,” ha ha ha.

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Meet the Co-Blogger

So, all right — I didn’t post an entry yesterday.

Well, let’s just say that after last week, when I posted not one but TWO entries on not one but TWO separate days*, I thought, y’know, I could afford to relax.

As those of you who (like me) try to post something every day already know, the world sometimes gets in the way. Family must be attended to. Bills must be paid and, uh, well, wages must be earned with which to pay them — we’re not just talking about writing checks here. Meals must be prepared. And yes, sadly, sleep must be had. To say nothing of writer’s block and the occasional drying-up of the well of draft posts.

None of that was responsible for my absence yesterday. No, yesterday my blogtime was given over entirely to training an helpmeet, as the expression goes — someone to stand in for me when Things Happen. In today’s post, I simply introduce him to you.

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