{"id":17427,"date":"2015-11-10T11:45:21","date_gmt":"2015-11-10T16:45:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/?p=17427"},"modified":"2015-11-10T11:45:21","modified_gmt":"2015-11-10T16:45:21","slug":"real-life-dialogue-time-warp-edition","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/2015\/11\/real-life-dialogue-time-warp-edition\/","title":{"rendered":"Real-Life Dialogue: Time Warp Edition"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Real-Life[The setting: a suburban home in North Florida, USA, late on a Sunday afternoon. He has just returned from grocery shopping. The dialogue occurs as they’re placing things he’s bought into the pantry and refrigerator.]<\/em><\/p>\n

She:<\/strong> The time really got away from us today — we’ve still got so much to do for the company coming tomorrow. It’s already almost five-thirty.<\/p>\n

[He looks down at his watch.]<\/em><\/p>\n

He:<\/strong> What are you talking about? It’s barely past four o’clock.<\/p>\n

She:<\/strong> [hope dawning in her eyes as she looks down at his watch, held up for her inspection]<\/em> Really?!<\/p>\n

He:<\/strong> Yeah, really. I mean I thought it was a little weird, maybe you—<\/p>\n

She:<\/strong> [looking down at her cell phone, hope dying]<\/em>\u00a0No. It IS almost FIVE-thirty.<\/p>\n

[She holds up her cell phone for his inspection.]<\/em><\/p>\n

He:<\/strong> Wha— huh? [looking down at his own cellphone, checking his watch again]<\/em> Damn it. Watch battery must have died. And I’m off work tomorrow, without a car—<\/p>\n

She:<\/strong> Well, I could take your watch to work with me, and run it over to the mall at lunch for a new battery. But I won’t have time to—<\/p>\n

He:<\/strong> [confused, but dismissive]<\/em> Well, that wouldn’t work anyway. I mean, if you’ve got my watch all day then how am I gonna know what time it is?<\/p>\n

She:<\/strong> [her brain whirs, audibly]<\/em>…<\/p>\n

He:<\/strong> [his brain whirs, audibly]<\/em>…<\/p>\n

[Both crack up laughing.]<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[The setting: a suburban home in North Florida, USA, late on a Sunday afternoon. He has just returned from grocery shopping. The dialogue occurs as they’re placing things he’s bought into the pantry and refrigerator.] She: The time really got away from us today — we’ve still got so much to do for the company […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","h5ap_radio_sources":[],"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"activitypub_content_warning":"","activitypub_content_visibility":"","activitypub_max_image_attachments":3,"activitypub_interaction_policy_quote":"anyone","activitypub_status":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[183,1235,713],"tags":[807,1019,2682,2683],"class_list":{"0":"post-17427","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-everyday-life","7":"category-real-life-dialogue-runningaftermyhat","8":"category-humor-writing_cat","9":"tag-men-and-women","10":"tag-time","11":"tag-logic","12":"tag-illogic","13":"entry"},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6kZSG-4x5","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17427","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17427"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17427\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17432,"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17427\/revisions\/17432"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17427"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17427"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17427"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}