{"id":28451,"date":"2025-06-13T12:01:14","date_gmt":"2025-06-13T16:01:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/?p=28451"},"modified":"2025-06-13T12:01:17","modified_gmt":"2025-06-13T16:01:17","slug":"dancing-a-gingerly-two-step-along-an-uncertain-border","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/2025\/06\/dancing-a-gingerly-two-step-along-an-uncertain-border\/","title":{"rendered":"Dancing a Gingerly Two-Step along an Uncertain Border"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n

[Cartoon (spotted on Instagram<\/a>) by the artist known as worry__lines<\/a>.]<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

From whiskey river’s commonplace book<\/a><\/em> (first paragraph):<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

I’ve been thinking about something for a long time, and I keep noticing that most human speech – if not all human speech – is made with the outgoing breath. This is the strange thing about presence and absence. When we breathe in, our bodies are filled with nutrients and nourishment. Our blood is filled with oxygen, our skin gets flush; our bones get harder – they get compacted. Our muscles get toned and we feel very present when we’re breathing in. The problem is, that when we’re breathing in, we can’t speak. So presence and silence have something to do with each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The minute we start breathing out, we can talk; speech is made with the outgoing, exhaled breath. The problem that this poses, though, is that as we exhale, nutrients are leaving our bodies; our bones get softer, our muscles get flaccid, our skin starts to loosen. You could think of that as the dying breath. So as we breath out, we have less and less presence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we make verbal meaning, we use the dying breath. In fact, the more I say, the more my meaning is disclosed. Meaning grows in opposite ratio to presence or vitality. That\u2019s a weird thing. I don\u2019t know why God made us that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s a kind of paradigm for life, right? As we die, the meaning of our life gets disclosed. Maybe the paradigm for living is encoded or embedded in speech itself, and every time we speak we’re enacting on a small-scale, microcosmic level the bigger scale of our lives. So that the less vitality we have, the more the meaning of our lives get disclosed.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

(Li-Young Lee [source<\/a><\/em>])<\/p>\n\n\n\n

…and (highlighted<\/span> portion):<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

The Impossible Dream<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In Delaware a Congressman
accused of sexual misconduct<\/span>
says clearly at the press conference,
speaking<\/span>
right into the microphone<\/span>
that he would like very much
to do it again.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was on the radio
and Carla laughed<\/span>
as she painted, Die, You Pig<\/em>
in red nail polish<\/span>
on the back of a turtle
she plans to turn loose tomorrow
in Jerry\u2019s backyard.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We lived near the high school that year
and in the afternoons, in autumn,
we could hear the marching-band rehearsals
from the stadium:
off-key trumpets, carried by the wind,<\/span>
drums and weirdly smeared trombones:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

a ragged ‘Louie Louie’
or sometimes, ‘The Impossible Dream’.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was reading a book about pleasure,
how you have to glide through it
without clinging,<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

like an arrow
passing through<\/em> a target,
coming out the other side and going on.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sitting at the picnic table
carved with the initials of the previous tenants;
thin October sunlight<\/span>
blessing the pale grass —
you would have thought we had it all —<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But the turtle in Carla\u2019s hand
churned its odd stiff legs like oars,
as if it wasn\u2019t made for holding still,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

and the high-school band played
worse than ever for a moment<\/span>
— as if getting the song right
was the impossible dream.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

(Tony Hoagland [source<\/a><\/em>])<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From elsewhere:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

The Weight of Sweetness<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

No easy thing to bear, the weight of sweetness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Song, wisdom, sadness, joy: sweetness
equals three of any of these gravities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

See a peach bend
the branch and strain the stem until
it snaps.
Hold the peach, try the weight, sweetness
and death so round and snug
in your palm.
And, so, there is
the weight of memory:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Windblown, a rain-soaked
bough shakes, showering
the man and the boy.
They shiver in delight,
and the father lifts from his son\u2019s cheek
one green leaf
fallen like a kiss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The good boy hugs a bag of peaches
his father has entrusted
to him.
Now he follows
his father, who carries a bagful in each arm.
See the look on the boy\u2019s face
as his father moves
faster and farther ahead, while his own steps
flag, and his arms grow weak, as he labors
under the weight
of peaches.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

(Li-Young Lee [source<\/a><\/em>])<\/p>\n\n\n\n

…and:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

Our bodies are shot with mortality. Our legs are fear and our arms are time. These chill humors seep through our capillaries, weighting each cell with an icy dab of nonbeing, and that dab grows and swells and sucks the cell dry. That is why physical courage is so important—it fills, as it were, the holes—and why it is so invigorating. The least brave act, chance taken and passage won, makes you feel loud as a child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But it gets harder. The courage of children and beasts is a function of innocence. We let our bodies go the way of our fears. A teenaged boy, king of the world, will spend weeks in front of a mirror perfecting some difficult trick with a lighter, a muscle, a tennis ball, a coin. Why do we lose interest in physical mastery? If I feel like turning cartwheels—and I do—why don\u2019t I learn to turn cartwheels, instead of regretting that I never learned as a child? We could all be aerialists like squirrels, divers like seals; we could be purely patient, perfectly fleet, walking on our hands even, if our living or stature required it. We can\u2019t even sit straight, or support our weary heads.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we lose our innocence—when we start feeling the weight of the atmosphere and learn that there\u2019s death in the pot—we take leave of our senses. Only children can hear the song of the male house mouse. Only children keep their eyes open.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

(Annie Dillard [source<\/a><\/em>])<\/p>\n\n\n\n

…and:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

I like the American-Canadian border, ’cause if you’re walking on the border with a friend, and you push your friend into Canada, he can’t push you back right away, ’cause first he has to go through customs. “What brings you to Canada?” [Points to the side]<\/em> “That asshole.” “When are you leaving?” “As soon as I regain my equilibrium!”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

(Mitch Hedberg [source<\/a><\/em>])<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[Cartoon (spotted on Instagram) by the artist known as worry__lines.] From whiskey river’s commonplace book (first paragraph): I’ve been thinking about something for a long time, and I keep noticing that most human speech – if not all human speech – is made with the outgoing breath. This is the strange thing about presence and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":28456,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","h5ap_radio_sources":[],"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"activitypub_content_warning":null,"activitypub_content_visibility":"","activitypub_max_image_attachments":3,"activitypub_interaction_policy_quote":"anyone","activitypub_status":"federated","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Li-Young Lee, worry__lines, Mitch Hedberg, et al.: 'Dancing a Gingerly Two-Step along an Uncertain Border'","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[183,247,1393,250,274,251,713,4159],"tags":[295,2728,3496,3716,6138,6139,6140,6141],"class_list":{"0":"post-28451","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-everyday-life","8":"category-ruminations","9":"category-whiskey-river-runningaftermyhat","10":"category-art","11":"category-cartoons","12":"category-poetry-writing_cat","13":"category-humor-writing_cat","14":"category-essays","15":"tag-annie-dillard","16":"tag-tony-hoagland","17":"tag-li-young-lee","18":"tag-mitch-hedberg","19":"tag-worry__lines","20":"tag-uncertain-goals","21":"tag-uncertain-outcomes","22":"tag-funny-vs-not-funny","23":"entry"},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/eatingspaghetti_worry__lines.png?fit=1031%2C1002&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6kZSG-7oT","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28451","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=28451"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28451\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":28459,"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28451\/revisions\/28459"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/28456"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=28451"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=28451"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=28451"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}