{"id":4504,"date":"2009-05-19T17:52:48","date_gmt":"2009-05-19T21:52:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/?p=4504"},"modified":"2009-05-20T17:02:49","modified_gmt":"2009-05-20T21:02:49","slug":"real-life-dialogue-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/2009\/05\/real-life-dialogue-3\/","title":{"rendered":"Real-Life Dialogue"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Patient <\/strong>(handing appointment card for his regular checkup to receptionist at desk in Super Mega Giant medical center)<\/em>: Hey, how you doing, I’m—<\/p>\n

Receptionist<\/strong>: I know. Got you right here. (Hands exam paperwork to patient; calls out to someone out of sight behind her.)<\/em> He just got here! I’m sending him right back!<\/p>\n

(Patient wanders around corner, meets nurse at door leading to warren of exam rooms, check-out area, etc.)<\/em><\/p>\n

Patient <\/strong>(to nurse)<\/em>: Wow. You took me fast. I even brought a book up h—<\/p>\n

Nurse<\/strong>: I know! You got here just at a good time! Come with me, please.<\/p>\n

(She leads patient through maze. Patient’s imagination starts to get better of him; he believes he sees a troll at <\/span>the check-out window, and a gnome taking phone calls<\/span>. This can’t be true, although the corridors are getting narrower and more twisty and the walls are running with slime<\/span>.)<\/em><\/p>\n

Nurse<\/strong> <\/strong>(gesturing at scale)<\/em>: Step up here, please. (Looks startled.)<\/em> Hmm. (Purses lips. Makes notation on pad.)<\/em><\/p>\n

Patient<\/strong>: Something wrong?<\/p>\n

Nurse<\/strong>: Step down, follow me… No, sir, nothing wrong!<\/p>\n

(More corridors. Spiders on ceiling and walls. Oil-guttering torches<\/span>. They arrive at the correct exam room.)<\/em><\/p>\n

Nurse<\/strong>: All right, I’ll just sit here at the computer (she sits)<\/em> and you sit there on the table. (He does so.)<\/em> Now let me just verify your prescriptions, okay?<\/p>\n

Patient<\/strong>: Okay—<\/p>\n

Nurse<\/strong>: Fosamax.<\/p>\n

Patient <\/strong>(eyes crossing)<\/em>: Uh, Fosamax? Isn’t that for, like, wom—<\/p>\n

Nurse<\/strong>: Okay, no Fosamax? Okay. How about aspirin. You still taking aspirin?<\/p>\n

Patient <\/strong>(relieved)<\/em>: Yep! Enteric—<\/p>\n

Nurse<\/strong>: Right. The 81 size, right?<\/p>\n

Patient<\/strong>: The, uh, 81—?<\/p>\n

Nurse<\/strong>: And how about the [insert what sounds to patient like a completely improvised brand name with many x<\/em>‘s, z<\/em>‘s, k<\/em>‘s, and a short a<\/em> or two]? Are you still—<\/p>\n

Patient <\/strong>(taking command of the situation)<\/em>: Y’know, I’m getting a little worried. I don’t recognize these prescriptions you’re talking about. Are you sure—<\/p>\n

Nurse <\/strong>(glances at patient, glances at screen, glances at paperwork in her lap)<\/em>: Oh my gosh! I’ve got the wrong patient! Come with me, please.<\/p>\n

(They exit the exam room. Nurse leads patient back into corridors. A left, a right, straight ahead, dodge the pharmaceutical salesman, the falling stalactites and screeching bats<\/span>, and suddenly back into the relative daylight of the waiting room.)<\/em><\/p>\n

Nurse <\/strong>(to patient)<\/em>: Just have a seat, please. Someone will be right with you. (To room at large)<\/em> Stephenson! Julia Stephenson!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Patient (handing appointment card for his regular checkup to receptionist at desk in Super Mega Giant medical center): Hey, how you doing, I’m— Receptionist: I know. Got you right here. (Hands exam paperwork to patient; calls out to someone out of sight behind her.) He just got here! I’m sending him right back! (Patient wanders […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","h5ap_radio_sources":[],"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"activitypub_content_warning":"","activitypub_content_visibility":"","activitypub_max_image_attachments":3,"activitypub_interaction_policy_quote":"anyone","activitypub_status":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[183,1235,50],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-4504","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-everyday-life","7":"category-real-life-dialogue-runningaftermyhat","8":"category-language-writing_cat","9":"entry"},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6kZSG-1aE","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4504","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4504"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4504\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4514,"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4504\/revisions\/4514"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4504"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4504"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4504"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}