{"id":84,"date":"2008-07-22T19:22:11","date_gmt":"2008-07-22T23:22:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/?p=84"},"modified":"2008-07-22T19:22:11","modified_gmt":"2008-07-22T23:22:11","slug":"these-eyes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/2008\/07\/these-eyes\/","title":{"rendered":"These Eyes…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Just got back from Chris & Jess’s wedding weekend…<\/p>\n

The Missus and I stayed at a lovely hotel in DC, the Sofitel on Lafayette Square. The bathroom was especially well appointed, and among its attractions was the mirror over the sink — which, as I understand it [cough], had obviously been designed by someone who sometimes needed to apply makeup. What made it suitable for this activity was the lighting: the mirror was a large square, and every single edge was brightly lit.<\/p>\n

At first, though, it sort of disturbed me to use the mirror but I couldn’t quite figure out why. I just wanted to conduct my business (none of it, I hasten to add, involving makeup) and get the hell away from it. It just sort of… sort of… creeped me out<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Then I realized the problem.<\/p>\n

To wit: see anything unusual here?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\"Square<\/p>\n

Yeah: my pupils have white squares around them<\/em>. This completely violates nature in general, which abhors a straight line as much as a vacuum. But it violates human facial features in specific, and it really<\/em> violates the way one’s eyes are supposed to look.<\/p>\n

Anyway, I’m back. Thanks for taking care of the place in my absence. I might have wished you’d vacuumed — speaking of abhorrence — just one more time before my return. But really, it’s home. Dust and pretzel crumbs notwithstanding.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Just got back from Chris & Jess’s wedding weekend… The Missus and I stayed at a lovely hotel in DC, the Sofitel on Lafayette Square. The bathroom was especially well appointed, and among its attractions was the mirror over the sink — which, as I understand it [cough], had obviously been designed by someone who […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","h5ap_radio_sources":[],"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"activitypub_content_warning":"","activitypub_content_visibility":"","activitypub_max_image_attachments":3,"activitypub_interaction_policy_quote":"anyone","activitypub_status":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[183,14,16,15,12],"tags":[234,235,236,237],"class_list":{"0":"post-84","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-everyday-life","7":"category-01_intheblood","8":"category-themissus","9":"category-family","10":"category-03_runningaftermyhat","11":"tag-wedding","12":"tag-eyes","13":"tag-geometry","14":"tag-human-body","15":"entry"},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6kZSG-1m","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/84","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=84"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/84\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":89,"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/84\/revisions\/89"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=84"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=84"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnesimpson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=84"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}