I’m really not a fan of the telephone: give me good-old when-I-get-to-it email any day, y’know? (People at work long ago got used to the idea that I intentionally sit with my back to the phone — so I never even have to see the red “voicemail message waiting” light. They all email me, even the ones who work in the next cubicle.)
Under the circumstances, it might surprise you that I signed up for Google Voice (even more assumption that I might use the telephone?!?)… at least until you learn that, among its other features, it includes a speech-to-text translator.
Closed captioning for voicemail messages — zowie!
Needless to say, it’s not perfect. So far the only person who’s left messages for me is my brother, whose voice sounds so much like mine that even I myself can’t tell the difference except by checking to see if my lips are moving.
Alas, this also means that his voice is husky — breath-driven rather than vocal-cord-driven — and this seems to confuse Google Voice quite a bit. In the most recent message, giving me a heads-up about videos from Conan O’Brien’s final show, the transcription software kept “hearing” the suddenly-former talk-show host’s name as “calling O’Brien.” Earlier, I was myself confused by a transcript in which he talked about his recent “conversation with Oscar.” Oscar? I kept asking myself. Who the hell is Oscar? I don’t know any Oscars!
Then I listened to the voicemail. Oh. He had a conversation with our sister.
Another cool thing you can do with Google Voice is get the transcript — and the recording itself — forwarded to you as email: invaluable if you get so few voicemail messages that you almost never visit your voicemail Inbox. (Like, oh, say… like me.) Here’s the text of Google Voice’s own welcome message:
Welcome to Google Voice! Google Voice gives you a single phone number that rings all your phones, saves your voicemail online, and transcribes your voicemail to text. Other cool features include the ability to listen in on messages while they are being left and the ability to make low cost international calls. To start enjoying Google Voice, just give out your Google Voice number. You can record custom greetings for your favorite callers or block annoying callers by marking them as SPAM. Just click on the settings link at the top of your inbox. We hope you enjoy Google Voice.
And here’s the message itself (which of course is perfectly accurate for this occasion, cough):
[Below, click Play button to begin. While audio is playing, volume control appears at left — a row of little vertical bars. This clip is :29 long.]
You notice how the voice suddenly switched from that of a”normal” American to a sort of Central European sound over the course of the last couple sentences? I like to think the original transcription was accurate only for one half of the message, so they went back and re-recorded the other half.
For what it’s worth, the “voice of Google Voice” — the one which walks you through the menus, and such — is that of an actress and voiceover artist named Laurie Burke. What a… what a… what an interesting thing to have on one’s résumé. (Although personally, I’d much rather be known as the voice of the HAL 9000 computer in 2001: A Space Odyssey. “Open my Inbox, HAL.” “I’m afraid I can’t do that, David.”)
Jules says
This is terrifically neat, but I’m just happy there’s someone else who hates talking on the phone as much as I do. (Actually, this subject came up in a post at 7-Imp some time last year, I think it was — a kicks post, I think — and it was noteworthy how many other bloggers HATE talking on the phone.)
The Querulous Squirrel says
I hate talking on the phone too. I hate voice mail. I don’t listen to it. I figure if they’re desperate enough they’ll email me. What I hate most about the phone is the need to fill the dead air time with no body language; you just have to keep talking. I so prefer in person or writing.
marta says
I don’t mind talking on the phone, but I hate the time it takes to do so. But I hate speaker phone, so that is not a solution–and I don’t need my family to hear every word either.
I’ve been in so much trouble lately for my lack of phone time. Sigh.
recaptcha: was gangster
Who? me?
The Querulous Squirrel says
I’m so bad I’m one of those dinosaurs that doesn’t even carry a cell phone. I have one, but I never charge it. I liked the good old days, when no one could reach me for hours on end. I don’t have small children anymore, so it doesn’t matter.
John says
Interesting, this verging on consensus… maybe the online world has ruined us all for the telephone.
One of the worst things about voicemail — or phone calls in general — is that if I wait too long for the return call, eventually there’s too much “stuff” to talk about, even (ironically) with people to whom I love talking. It’s a vicious circle.
I have no idea how to retrieve voicemail on our home phone; that’s strictly The Missus’s domain. On top of which, we have two extensions — each of them tallying the missed calls independently of the other, so when you clear all missed calls on one phone the tally on the other is unaffected. Seeing that we’ve had 132 missed calls is serious disincentive to even learn the basics of retrieving messages. :)
Oh, and then: I worked for AT&T throughout the 1980s, when answering machines first started to come into their own. Some people I knew there were positively salivating at the idea, saying we should GIVE customers an answering machine with every number — because every time the machine picked up (vs. the old “I couldn’t get an answer”), the company rang up a connected call. Ka-ching!
(The practice continues with cell phone systems which log your voice mail interaction as part of your allotted air time.)
Laurie Burke says
Hello – I am “the voice” of Google Voice and I loved your article! Don’t tell anyone, but sometimes I too avoid the phone and let me tell you – as inaccurate as the transcriptions may be – they’re enough to give me the idea of whether I actually need to return the call (and, on the bonus side – it’s a great a game to play – “decode the message”).
You’re right, being “the voice” of the system is quite an interesting thing to have on my resume. I started with the company when it was first created as Grand Central and now, I’m happy to say they still like my voice on the system so I still get to record for them from time to time (although I cannot take the credit for the creative sample you provided;). Seriously, I love what I do. Of course I would also love to be “the voice” of Hal 9000 – I mean, who wouldn’t? Also, I’d like to be the woman who says “the door is ajar” in cars…simply because who ever gets to use the word “ajar” in a sentence? One can dream…
In any case, thanks for listening and I wish you all the best with all of your Voice Tech Follies.
Laurie Burke
http://www.laurieburke.com
John says
Laurie: For almost 20 years now, I’ve heard the same woman’s voice over the PA system in my employer’s elevator. She starts, of course, with “Going up!” or “Going down!” As the doors start to open, she announces the floor number and the names of two or three departments to be found there. No one seems to know who she is. I perversely looked forward to the day when a department announced at one of the floors would relocate to another: after that long, would they still be able to use the same voice?
Yeah, as far as I know it’s exactly the same woman. Amazing.
(Loved your “The door is ajar” example. After a trip to London years ago, a couple of my nephews returned practically in love with the woman who warned people to be careful boarding and leaving the Underground trains: Mind the gap!)
Thanks for stopping by!
Froog says
I always thought the female computer voice in John Carpenter’s Dark Star (which is, in part, a spoof of 2001) was oddly seductive. It was only after many years that I discovered (I don’t think it’s in the credits) that it belonged to a lady with the improbable name of Cookie Knapp.
I’ve often wished I could have been a bodyguard for Jim Morrison back in the 60s…. just so that I could say,“Mind The Doors, please. Stand well clear of The Doors.”
John says
Froog: Ha!, on the Morrison-bodyguard pun.
You probably (?) know of the Ananova news aggregator site. You may not remember that it started out in 2000 with an animation which read the news (or at least selected bits of it) aloud. The animation was that of a young woman — I know some lonely-geek sorts who fantasized about her, based on her voice, but I always found her a little creepy. This may move us into an area where voice effects enter the uncanny valley.
To satisfy your insatiable curiosity, here’s a YouTube video which shows Ananova thanking the technical team who developed her:
Froog says
Gosh, I haven’t seen Ana for years. Is she still going? And have they not been able to make her voice any more natural in the last 10 years??
The basic sound is OK (sampled from a live actress), but it’s very clipped; and it has an odd thing happening with the intonation, where it seems to go UP in almost every syllable.
I think this is not so much uncanny valley as irritating valley.
Froog says
I meant to add a ‘?’ when I mentioned sampling a real actress. I have no idea whether they did, was just speculating.
Jeremy says
Another note of support from someone who dislikes phones very strongly…I’m one of the last holdouts among people my age who have never owned a mobile phone.
John says
Jeremy: Well, hi!
I caved on the mobile-phone front a few years ago, and last year I got my first “smart” phone. For me, though, it functions almost entirely as a mobile Internet connection. Luckily all my “data minutes” are included; I would have been broke by the end of my first month otherwise. :)
My main objection to phones, any phone, is the intrusiveness: answer me now, now, NOW!… answer me now, now, NOW!… I love the asynchronous nature of email, which lets me (and my correspondents) respond thoughtfully, rather than demanding a response ASAP.