[The scene: North Florida, USA, the interior of a car — not their own — currently occupied by a human couple and a micro-canine. It is around 6:00 pm: He and She, with The Pooch, are on their way home from work. They left work early today in order to rent a car (this one) so that they could leave their own car at their mechanic’s for its periodic maintenance the next day: they needed to get to both the car-rental agency and the garage before either place closed at 6. The evening before, they left work early in order to meet with their handyman to discuss the next round of “projects.” This came on the heels of the second weekend in a row on which they had overnight guests, on the weekdays between which they had various medical and other appointments, following weeks of, well, more or less the same. And it came before a day on which two medical appointments were scheduled, as well as the need — of course — to return the rental car and pick up the owned one before either place closed at 6.]
He: Did you read my Facebook status update today?
She: You posted something on Facebook? But no. I almost never look at Facebook during the day.
He: Oh.
She: Well, what did it say?
He: I forget the exact wording. It was long, I remember. Something like “I’d really like to have a single week, just a straight seven days, when nobody in the household has any doctor or vet appointments, handyman or other home-improvement projects, holidays, overnight guests, car repairs, laundry to do, overslept alarm clocks, power or Internet outages, computer problems…”
She: So what you’re saying is, you don’t want life.
He: Huh?
She: Life. All of that is just life. You don’t want any of it.
He: No. I’m not saying I don’t want any of it for good — forever. I just want a single, simple week of—
She: And why do you care if I’ve got a doctor’s appointment, or if The Pooch has to go to the vet or the groomer?
He: What do you mean, why do I care? Of course I care if you’ve got to see a doctor or if she—
She: It doesn’t affect you.
He: Of course it does. We’ve only got one car. We do this thing several times a week where we have to meet up during the day just to hand the car off, or one of us has to stay home to meet with a service person, or we’ve both gotta leave work early or get to work late because—
She: It’s life. Those things happen.
[Time passes. They get home, watch a little TV, read the mail, rough-house with The Pooch, fix dinner. As they’re preparing their separate dinner plates at the kitchen counter, She suddenly speaks, from behind Him.]
She: Damn it.
He: What?
[He turns to see what the problem is. She is trying to tug a napkin from the holder — just one napkin. She does not succeed. A dozen napkins come with the napkin She’s tugging on, and apparently leap from the napkin holder to drift, like unseasonable maple leaves, to the floor.]
He: A little, mmm… problem? [He bends to pick up the napkins from the floor.]
She: I was trying to take a single napkin. And then this—
He: Y’know, that’s life. Things happen.
She: [Pause for dramatic effect, and to see if He will look at Her; He will not. However, His shoulders are shaking and snorts issue from beneath his mustache.] You know, if you were a little closer I’d slap you.
Jayne says
Boy do I ever know how you feel. Sometimes, life just gets in the way, but, of course, we still enjoy. Or at least try. :/
One car–I’m impressed. That’s not easy to do unless you’re in the city–lots of juggling. I applaud you both for taking steps toward reducing carbon footprints (or car tracks). There’s always the bike, you know. ;)
John says
Oh, don’t give us too much credit — reducing the carbon footprint (or car tracks) is just a side effect. If money were no object, we’d probably have at least two cars, heh.
And that aside about the bike clearly wandered into your comment here from some other site. :)
s.o.m.e. one's brudder says
okay this week has been: “let’s stop in on the architect with the first floor storefront office and chat like he has nothing else billable to do” week, here in Red Bank. Yep. got it covered. queue Sinatra…..”That’s life. That’s what some people say…”
John says
Do you know, I had a hard time coming up with a title for this post. I kept wanting to call it something like the “Poet, Pauper, Pirate, Poet Edition” — but I was afraid the joke was too obscure. And/Or lame.
As for the sound of your week, too, I don’t know what’s going on. Maybe it’s got something to do with solar-flare activity.
s.o.m.e. one's brudder says
btw: actually had a contractor I like, suggest that getting a “demerol drip” for me might be good for all….THAT’S life! And thank god Sis and Ma, don’t often read here!
“youndsko discussion,” that’s reCAPTCHA!
John says
Every now and then I think of sending everyone in the family a “reminder” link here. And exactly that often, I have second thoughts. It’s probably for the best!
marta says
So, the other day one of my students told the class about her life in Liberia where she’d been a child slave for 11 years. This student is funny and cheerful. She jokes and does her classwork without complaint. She asks good questions. You’d never think she’d spent 11 years locked indoors.
And it wasn’t like hearing this kind of story on the news. She stood up in front of the class to explain how she ended up in that situation. She talks to me every school day. That’s life too, of course.
She’d get just as irritated at spilling a bunch of napkins on the floor, and she’d laugh too.
Maybe we should complain about the little things because otherwise we’d be overwhelmed by all the really bad things.
(And don’t partners love bringing something back on someone!)
John says
How old is your student now? Stereotypically, I’d want her to be in her 40s or so — so I can attribute that amazing resilience to many years’ hindsight and reflection. The thought of being able to bounce from slavery to good-natured joking in the space of just a few years would be just too humbling.
The Missus thinks I alternate between being a first-class smart*ss and a “silver-tongued devil.” I don’t know what she’s talking about.
John says
Oh, and hey — did you close on the house???
(Well, wait, never mind — I’m sure you’ve said on FB. I was just surprised to see this comment show up in the middle of the day yesterday, when I’d have expected you and your husband and kiddo all to be in a state of nervous exhaustion.)
marta says
And yes! We closed on the house, and then I was spending time on the web to decompress a little.
marta says
My student is in her 20s. She’s here because of a rescue group that brings individuals in her situation to America to start over and get an education.
I also think being a smart *ss is necessary to be a silver tongued devil.
Ashleigh Burroughs says
Smack you or tickle you or throw something hard at your head…… I’m laughing through my tears. I could be really irritating and start my “But you are here to enjoy it….” rant but even I am bored with it by now :)
I remember 8 year old Big Cuter sighing and wishing he were an adult b/c “It’s SOOO much easier to be a grown up”……. HA!
a/b
cynth says
I love this blog! And the comments! And I can hear the Missus in that droll tone of hers stating the obvious. And unfortunately, I know you to be the smart*ss you are and am thankful for it! Okay, I’ll stop using exclamation points now.
I do know what you mean about life crashing in waves, one thing after another after another and how nice it would be to just have a week where there were calming ripples gathered at the shore instead of the riptide. However, I do have to side with her a little. Life just keeps going on and thank goodness for that.
As far as brudder says, I assume he means the “Other” sis…Demerol drip indeed!