Saying something like “This was my favorite birthday card this year” is a little like announcing you have a favorite son or daughter from among all your children. It seems like something one doesn’t do in polite company — certainly not in a public forum where family injuries may ensue.
Still… The message printed inside this card caught me completely by surprise; my younger sister, who sent it to me, wrote that she “laughed [her]self silly” when she read it. I had that reaction, too.
(One reason: this is a Hallmark card — not even from one of the off-the-mainstream product lines, like Shoebox. The punchline is completely unconventional.)
In the spirit of The New Yorker‘s weekly cartoon contest, anyone want to guess what this card says inside? (Note especially that it’s not specifically a birthday card. It’s not specifically a card for any occasion, in fact.)
I’ll eventually post the answer in a comment. In the meantime…?
John says
It says:
Neither my sister nor I know what it “means.”
I will note, though, that it’s a very clever way of sorta kinda telling a story: implying an aftermath.
s.o.m.e. one's brudder says
“Damn, where’s my Winchester, when I really need it?”
but, yes, “…the ferrets…” are clearly the winner here…
John says
Given the sister in question, when you first see the front of the card it’s easy to imagine that the interior will provide some counterpoint of horror, even if you can’t quite conjure up what that might be.
If I’d seen this card on the rack in a store I doubt that I’d even pick it up. Now that I have seen it, I wonder what other frisky surrealism I might’ve missed over the years.
cynth says
Hmm, “given the sister in question…counterpoint of horror?” Wait a minute, have I just be insulted? I shall chose to laugh nonetheless. It was still one of the better cards of all time!
cynth says
Have I just been insulted…I just can’t type like I used to.
marta says
Ha!
I didn’t know Hallmark had that kind of humor.
Joe P. says
I just received this card and my wife and I both don’t get it. Stumped… Can someone clue me in?
– Clueless, I guess
John says
Hello, Joe, and thanks for visiting.
As for the joke: well, most people say that explaining jokes ruins them — so I hope it doesn’t have that effect for you. My take: I think it helps to think of ferrets as something like weasels (or at least the stereotype of weasels): sneaky, vicious killers. In my mind, I immediately thought of the cartoon weasels who were the bad guy’s henchmen in Who’s Afraid of Roger Rabbit? — sharp-toothed, zoot-suited, crazily-laughing (and maybe a little incompetent) lunatics. The front of the card is meant to make you think, basically: An idyllic scene: swans, cute little rodents, bunnies, all placed in a beautiful, tranquil setting in a forest… Then you open the card and follow that with what’s printed there, which adds, like: …and things went suddenly, terribly wrong. It’s the surprise, the utter reversal of what had seemed to be the card’s apparent message, which made me laugh.
Jeannie says
and here I thought it was page out of a vintage children’s book that meant the ferrets were going to join the party….that is in a good way..like a tea party. Oh well I’ll just frame it and throw out the comment. Thanks alot
Kathy says
Re: Hallmark Card… ‘Right before the Ferrets Came’
I received this card this weekend. It was sent to me as a Sympathy card for a pet that died a sudden death. It was sent by my sister who put in a personal note about how wonderful our pet’s life had been and how great a life it had. So to us the card is a refection on how wonderful our pet’s life was before the fall. Unique definitely, but did someone say they received this as a birthday card? Yikes that would need some interpretation…
DanielleMariah says
So, my roommate received this card just because and I am pretty sure that it’s supposed to be funny because ferrets eat rabbits and goose eggs…So, right before the ferrets came, everyone was safe. But then they came, and now they’re not…therefore…it’s funny.
John says
I think that’s right. It may require a bit of a “sick” sense of humor, but it’s in the same vein as, oh, I don’t know — the kind of slapstick comedy where you know things are going to go rapidly downhill as soon as Character X shows up. Think of the ferrets like, say, vicious versions of Cousin Eddie in the National Lampoon Vacation movies.
CJ says
Personally, I received this card from my son, for my birthday. We’ve had ferrets, quite a few of them. Knowing how they are, and their uniquely funny quirks and personalities, I saw it similar to how it was described by “John”, but less bloody. Ferrets are very funny, but they are like furry two year olds on steriods; they get into EVERYTHING, not to destroy, they’re just curious and don’t seem to have any fear of getting hurt. I see the message as sort of an “idyllic” scene, right before the ferrets came and just got into everything and made a big mess. So, to me, knowing their behavior, and my son knowing it too, it’s funny and I think it was meant to be that way, otherwise the card maker would have used a more dangerous animal, say a housecat that someone let outside.
John says
Hi CJ — thanks for stopping by, and thanks for the comment!
I believe you are probably 100% correct: the implication isn’t necessarily, “…and then bloodshed ensued” but “…and then chaos ensued.”
Now, weasels might be a different matter… or wolverines. (Or, of course — this is the Internet, so I’m probably being superfluous just to name them here — honey badgers. Ha.)
Mike says
I bought this card back in 2012 without a specific reason. The first and only time I have ever purchased a card without a purpose. I have yet to find the perfect occasion to use it. The card is so fantastic that no occasion has risen to the level that meets my expectations. So it sits in a drawer providing occasional delight. That is the case is purpose now.
Tonight we showed it to some relatives which prompted me to Google and lead me to your site.
John says
“…without a specific reason”: ha! Seems like just about an every-occasion kind of card, eh?