The Dawning of the Light

[Image: from Underground, by David Macaulay (click to enlarge). A very disorienting drawing at first, even when you know the premise (a detailed exploration of the underside of a city): you’ve got those tiny little people at the bottom, but what’s with the vehicles moving around that right-angled surface above…? Oh, wait: you’re looking up — through the street — they’re not on the walls.]

From whiskey river:

Leaves

1
Every October it becomes important, no, necessary
to see the leaves turning, to be surrounded
by leaves turning; it’s not just the symbolism,
to confront in the death of the year your death,
one blazing farewell appearance, though the irony
isn’t lost on you that nature is most seductive
when it’s about to die, flaunting the dazzle of its
incipient exit, an ending that at least so far
the effects of human progress (pollution, acid rain)
have not yet frightened you enough to make you believe
is real; that is, you know this ending is a deception
because of course nature is always renewing itself —
the trees don’t die, they just pretend,
go out in style, and return in style: a new style.

2
Is it deliberate how far they make you go
especially if you live in the city to get far
enough away from home to see not just trees
but only trees? The boring highways, roadsigns, high
speeds, 10-axle trucks passing you as if they were
in an even greater hurry than you to look at leaves:
so you drive in terror for literal hours and it looks
like rain, or snow, but it’s probably just clouds
(too cloudy to see any color?) and you wonder,
given the poverty of your memory, which road had the
most color last year, but it doesn’t matter since
you’re probably too late anyway, or too early –
whichever road you take will be the wrong one
and you’ve probably come all this way for nothing.

3
You’ll be driving along depressed when suddenly
a cloud will move and the sun will muscle through
and ignite the hills. It may not last. Probably
won’t last. But for a moment the whole world
comes to. Wakes up. Proves it lives. It lives —
red, yellow, orange, brown, russet, ocher, vermilion,
gold. Flame and rust. Flame and rust, the permutations
of burning. You’re on fire. Your eyes are on fire.
It won’t last, you don’t want it to last. You
can’t stand any more. But you don’t want it to stop.
It’s what you’ve come for. It’s what you’ll
come back for. It won’t stay with you, but you’ll
remember that it felt like nothing else you’ve felt
or something you’ve felt that also didn’t last.

(Lloyd Schwartz [source])

…and:

“You know, there’s a place we all inhabit, but we don’t much think about it, we’re scarcely conscious of it, and it lasts for less than a minute a day…

“It’s in the morning, for most of us. It’s that time, those few seconds when we’re coming out of sleep but we’re not really awake yet. For those few seconds we’re something more primitive than what we are about to become. We have just slept the sleep of our most distant ancestors, and something of them and their world still clings to us. For those few moments we are unformed, uncivilized. We are not the people we know as ourselves, but creatures more in tune with a tree than a keyboard. We are untitled, unnamed, natural, suspended between was and will be, the tadpole before the frog, the worm before the butterfly. We are for a few brief moments, anything and everything we could be. And then…

“…and then — ah — we open our eyes and the day is before us and… we become ourselves.”

(Jerry Spinelli [source])

Not from whiskey river:

[Don Juan said,] “I see both ways. When I want to look at the world I see it the way you do. Then when I want to see it I look at it the way I know and I perceive it in a different way.”

“Do things look consistently the same every time you see them?”

“Things don’t change. You change your way of looking, that’s all.”

“I mean, don Juan, that if you see, for instance, the same tree, does it remain the same every time you see it?”

“No. It changes and yet it’s the same.”

“But if the same tree changes every time you see it, your seeing may be a mere illusion.”

He laughed and did not answer for some time, but seemed to be thinking. Finally he said, “Whenever you look at things you don’t see them. You just look at them, I suppose, to make sure that something is there. Since you’re not concerned with seeing, things look very much the same every time you look at them. When you learn to see, on the other hand, a thing is never the same every time you see it, and yet it is the same. I told you, for instance, that a man is like an egg. Every time I see the same man I see an egg, yet it is not the same egg.”

[…]

“Don’t I see things as they really are?”

“No. Your eyes have learned only to look. Take, for example, the three people you encountered, the three Mexicans. You have described them in detail, and even told me what clothes they wore. And that only proved to me that you didn’t see them at all. If you were capable of seeing you would have known on the spot that they were not people.”

(Carlos Castaneda [source])

…and:

The Loon

Not quite four a.m., when the rapture of being alive
strikes me from sleep, and I rise
from the comfortable bed and go
to another room, where my books are lined up
in their neat and colorful rows. How

magical they are! I choose one
and open it. Soon
I have wandered in over the waves of the words
to the temple of thought.

And then I hear
outside, over the actual waves, the small,
perfect voice of the loon. He is also awake,
and with his heavy head uplifted he calls out
to the fading moon, to the pink flush
swelling in the east that, soon,
will become the long, reasonable day.

Inside the house
it is still dark, except for the pool of lamplight
in which I am sitting.

I do not close the book.

Neither, for a long while, do I read on.

(Mary Oliver [source])

I’ve always been reluctant to read too much about Gordon Lightfoot, the sorta-folk, sorta-folk-rock, sort-country singer/songwriter. An odd thing to admit, perhaps. But it’s exactly because I fell for Lightfoot’s music from the first time I heard it; I just don’t want to find out that he’s really not a nice guy, or supports repellent social and political causes, or alienates everyone he comes in contact with. I don’t want to know.

Anyway, his “Don Quixote” has always struck me as a perfect little song not about its ostensible subject, but about looking at the world — or rather seeing it, I guess, in Don Juan’s terms: looking through “reality,” to reality, to the non-peopleness of people.

[Below, click Play button to begin Don Quixote. While audio is playing, volume control appears at left — a row of little vertical bars. This clip is 3:40 long.]

[Lyrics]