[I recently came across a small, grimy tin box which had originally contained cough drops; folded up inside were several sheets of lined “notebook paper,” as we called it, obviously stashed there for safekeeping (if not posterity). That’s my “handwriting,” of course. To the best of my recollection, therefore, this would have been from around 60 years ago; by sometime in 1966, I’d switched to block printing. This is thus — as far as I know, barring any other treasure buried in the sundry cardboard boxes around me — the only remaining scrap of evidence from childhood of my aspirations to write fiction: a “parody” of The Wizard of Oz. (My cartoonist friend Dean was illustrating the book-to-be… I wonder if he still has those drawings???) Looking back on it now, I’m kinda impressed that I seem to have already grasped the idea we now refer to as “meta-[whatever].”]
From whiskey river (first stanza):
January First
The year’s doors open
like those of language,
toward the unknown.
Last night you told me:
tomorrow
we shall have to think up signs,
sketch a landscape, fabricate a plan
on the double page
of day and paper.
Tomorrow, we shall have to invent,
once more,
the reality of this world.I opened my eyes late.
For a second of a second
I felt what the Aztec felt,
on the crest of the promontory,
lying in wait
for the time’s uncertain return
through cracks in the horizon.But no, the year had returned.
It filled all the room
and my look almost touched it.
Time, with no help from us,
had placed
in exactly the same order as yesterday
houses in the empty street,
snow on the houses,
silence on the snow.You were beside me,
still asleep.
The day had invented you
but you hadn’t yet accepted
being invented by the day.
–—Nor possibly by being invented, either.
You were in another day.You were beside me
and I saw you, like the snow,
asleep among appearances.
Time, with no help from us,
invents houses, streets, trees
and sleeping women.When you open your eyes
we’ll walk, once more,
among the hours and their inventions.
We’ll walk among appearances
and bear witness to time and its conjugations.
Perhaps we’ll open the day’s doors.
And then we shall enter the unknown.
(Octavio Paz, translated by Elizabeth Bishop [source])
Not from whiskey river:
January in Paris
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
—Paul ValéryThat winter I had nothing to do
but tend the kettle in my shuttered room
on the top floor of a pensione near a cemetery,but I would sometimes descend the stairs,
unlock my bicycle, and pedal along the cold city streetsoften turning from a wide boulevard
down a narrow side street
bearing the name of an obscure patriot.I followed a few private rules,
never crossing a bridge without stopping
mid-point to lean my bike on the railing
and observe the flow of the river below
as I tried to better understand the French.In my pale coat and my Basque cap
I pedaled past the windows of a patisserie
or sat up tall in the seat, arms folded,
and clicked downhill filling my nose with winter air.I would see beggars and street cleaners
in their bright uniforms, and sometimes
I would see the poems of Valéry,
the ones he never finished but abandoned,
wandering the streets of the city half-clothed.Most of them needed only a final line
or two, a little verbal flourish at the end,
but whenever I approached,
they would retreat from their ashcan fires
into the shadows—thin specters of incompletion,forsaken for so many long decades
how could they ever trust another man with a pen?I came across the one I wanted to tell you about
sitting with a glass of rosé at a café table—
beautiful, emaciated, unfinished,
cruelly abandoned with a flick of panacheby Monsieur Paul Valéry himself,
big fish in the school of Symbolism
and for a time, president of the Committee of Arts and Letters
of the League of Nations if you please.Never mind how I got her out of the café,
past the concierge and up the flights of stairs—
remember that Paris is the capital of public kissing.And never mind the holding and the pressing.
It is enough to know that I moved my pen
in such a way as to bring her to completion,a simple, final stanza, which ended,
as this poem will, with the image
of a gorgeous orphan lying on a rumpled bed,
her large eyes closed,
a painting of cows in a valley over her head,and off to the side, me in a window seat
blowing smoke from a cigarette at dawn.
(Billy Collins [source])
…and:
They imagined. But they could not imagine where all of it started. For all of their intelligence, there were limits to their imagination. They could not know of things that were not of their essence. They could not know of the Void. But the mystery of such things they did seem to feel, and it tingled in them and opened them up…
Time fluttered and spun and wound itself up. Time stretched and compressed and dilated and dissolved… Although time could be measured and sliced by the beats of the hydrogen atoms, now that other minds existed time did not move on its own. Or rather, even if it moved on its own, its movement was relevant only to how it was witnessed. Time was partly conception. Time was partly a thing in the mind. Just as events. Since the universe began, nearly 1033 ticks of the hydrogen clocks had transpired. Stars had been born. Stars had aged, then exploded or dwindled to dim and cold ashes. Galaxies had collided. Living cells had formed. Then minds. Cities had risen on deserts. Cities had fallen. Civilizations had flourished, then ended. Then new civilizations emerged. Nothing was lasting, nothing was permanent. Living creatures, beings with minds, were the most fleeting of all. They came and went, came and went, came and went, billions upon billions of lives, each quick as one breath. Atoms converged in their special arrangements to make each precious life, held together for moments, then scattered to dull lifeless matter again…
Only one-millionth of one-billionth of 1 percent of the mass of the universe abided in living form.
(Alan Lightman [source])
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