Real-Life Dialogue: Time Warp Edition

Real-Life Dialogue[The setting: a suburban home in North Florida, USA, late on a Sunday afternoon. He has just returned from grocery shopping. The dialogue occurs as they’re placing things he’s bought into the pantry and refrigerator.]

She: The time really got away from us today — we’ve still got so much to do for the company coming tomorrow. It’s already almost five-thirty.

[He looks down at his watch.]

He: What are you talking about? It’s barely past four o’clock.

She: [hope dawning in her eyes as she looks down at his watch, held up for her inspection] Really?!

He: Yeah, really. I mean I thought it was a little weird, maybe you—

She: [looking down at her cell phone, hope dying] No. It IS almost FIVE-thirty.

[She holds up her cell phone for his inspection.]

He: Wha— huh? [looking down at his own cellphone, checking his watch again] Damn it. Watch battery must have died. And I’m off work tomorrow, without a car—

She: Well, I could take your watch to work with me, and run it over to the mall at lunch for a new battery. But I won’t have time to—

He: [confused, but dismissive] Well, that wouldn’t work anyway. I mean, if you’ve got my watch all day then how am I gonna know what time it is?

She: [her brain whirs, audibly]

He: [his brain whirs, audibly]

[Both crack up laughing.]

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  1. someone's brudder says:

    haven’t worn a watch in about two decades now, just to avoid this kind of conundrum.

  2. Watch. Is it Analog or Digital?

    Did you know that if you stop wearing a watch you begin to know through your biorhythms exactly what time it is?

    Failing the above…sundial in the garden?

    • Analog. Went digital decades ago, during a spell of madness. Among other issues, when a digital watch goes dead (e.g., exhausted battery), it goes blank. But when an analog watch dies, it at least looks as though it’s still running. I like the sense of looking at the frozen hour, minute, and second (including day/date for calendar watches) and remembering, or trying to remember, what was happening when it stopped. Real-life time travel to the past!

      Of course, the modern world offers dozens of alternatives to wearing a watch at all — computer date/time displayed on-screen, clocks (assuming they haven’t stopped), car dashboard readout, surreptitious glances down at the wrists of strangers…

      I don’t think I knew about telling time via biorhythms (thanks for that tidbit), but it doesn’t surprise me. OTOH, I’d never rely on any of my own internally generated rhythms to produce anything useful. (Except maybe badinage.)

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