The Missus and I live in a smallish subdivision some distance away from downtown. Nonetheless, the area around the development is all within City limits — except for the development itself, which for whatever mysterious reason has never agreed to annexation. We (TM and I) refer to it, privately, as The Principality — because it’s so much like a Monaco situation, y’know?

Anyhow, recently The Principality’s governing body (a/k/a the neighborhood association) voted to establish one of those “neighborhood crime watch” programs. You know the deal: neighbors look out for each other, particularly alert to the possibility that miscreants of one kind or another might be breaking into homes or cars and so on.

Not that we personally know of any such incidents. (I’m not saying there have been none — just that we’ve never heard of any.) …Oh, wait, yes, I’m sorry: a neighboring subdivision had its entry sign stolen. Other than that, nada.

But as we all know in the post-9/11 era, unseen threats are everywhere. In fact, a given imaginable danger is magnified in direct proportion to its invisibility. Kind of If there’s no evidence of wrongdoing, you’re just not looking hard enough.

So we have the new crime-watch thing. One key element of which, apparently, is the appointment of “block captains” to coordinate the crime-watching efforts of neighbors who live along a specific stretch of roadway. Our own block captain recently mailed us a two-page flyer providing some details. The following is, I believe, a critical excerpt (emphasis in the original):

…As your block captain, I will be asking for you to provide phone numbers, and e-mail addresses, which will allow two-way communication between neighbors and the neighborhood crime watch program. The exchange of this information will allow members of the community to provide and receive timely information regarding suspicious events and observations that have occurred. As an example, we recently had neighbors report a suspicious vehicle parked in the area. Through our communication, we also learned that the County Sheriff’s office did locate the vehicle and identify the occupants. Although on this occasion, the occupants of the vehicle did not intend to commit a criminal activity, through the effective reporting and communication of our neighbors, the individuals most assuredly would have been apprehended, had they committed a crime.

Got that? “Had they committed a crime.”

And if they didn’t, in fact, commit a crime — well, it’s their own fault they got “located” and “identified.” After all, they were in a suspicious vehicle, the dumb bastards! I’ll tell ya, what’s this world coming to when everyone can’t afford a decent, respectable, non-suspicious car?